Saturday, March 15, 2008
hey...it's like 3 am already and i'm still not sleeping...juz cudnt get to sleep...today,was feeling a LITTLE bit disappointed in myself...becoz of wat? my exam results...yes,i did not fail any modules but wth,i got 3 C+,1D and 1 D+...i cud have done better...and i shud have...lastg semester's result was so much better...realli a disappointment...even alvinn commented this semester i realli not doing well,...but aniwae,i'm glad his results were not that bad,if not,good depending on perspectives...
a few minutes ago, juz happened to check my email then read an email titled "how much do u care"...the person who send it to me,THANKS a lot!!! being sarcastic there...makes me feel even worse...those who want to know more about the email,can ask me send u..u'll know what i mean...makes me feel i'm not a good fren suddenly...dunoe why even though the email is talking about sumting optimistic...
and i juz realised fh's bday is coming,..about a week more...tot of buying a gift but on secind tots,what for??? i cant even meet her...tot wanted to buy a gift then passed it to her on tt day but told myself,"ppl got bf..she might nt even want to meet u...stupid me"......farid is rite...i shud have forgot about her long ago...
aniwae,monday might be gg sentosa if alvinn's plan works out..haha...that wud be fun...can slack abit...realli need a break...
Friday, March 07, 2008
it's been a long time since i last update my blog...given it a new look already...hope it looks ok...this blog has been abandoned for so long...juz like how i abandoned my life...trying to find out each day who i am really meant tobe...
these past few weeks,i dunno why..have been realli antisocial...dunt realli feel like talking to anybody...ever since holidays,my whole life seems to be revolve arnd working..it's like working helps me keep aways from any of my probs...although i'm working now,half of my pay i give to my mum...i'm left with practically less than half of my pay for myself as i also buy the basic necessities in the house...not that i mind,but sumtimes it's a bit like sian arhz...now tt my mum isnt working,everything is like depending on me other than my father....
sumtimes i tink i'm working too hard for my own good...pulls me apart from everyone,especially my frens...hardly have time to like chat with them,dun even mention meeting them...the other day,faishal called me while i was waiting for my shuttle bus to work...he was like saying he's on the other side of the road..ended up,cudnt see him already,coz he boarded the bus...then he mentioned"when is there gg to be another gathering"..tt made me tot awhile...i juz remebered i do have frens who i have ignored...tat whole day,was damn sian....juz dunno what was gg on in my life AND head...
last time i used to sms alot of ppl...ppl wud msg me alot..even i they dun,i wud still go arnd starting a conversation...nowadays,i dun even giv a damn...tat's how different ppl can be...there's this gal who used to be the bestest fren i can ever have other than Ray but she is oso almost gone in my life...the last time i wanted to chat with her and wish her luck for her olevel results at the same time,seems like i'm like talking to myself...so forget it...Ray says "forget abt her" but i juz cant...dunno what i do wrong un til she dun wan talk to me...People CHANGE!! i have to accept tt..used to like her but too bad....being frens is like out of the question for us now...funny rite...how people can change quickly,..or maybe it's nt the ppl arnd me...it's juz ME!!
the past monday,met minshan and passed the money i owed her for kt's present..met her at her void deck...she came down,i pased the money and immediately walked away and never turned back..unlike me come to think abt it..the least i wud have done usually is disturb her abit here and there call her pig or sumting but i didnt...yesterday meet khaiting arnd 2.40pm at cck while waitng for shuttle bus..didnt even bother to apprach her...in my mind,"she doesnt see me,juz let her walk past arhz"...attitude,yes i am...sad to say...ANTISOCIAL FREAK ME!!
aniwae,i gg go sleep now...didnt have a good sleep yesterday...keep having silly dreams...neither sad nor happy....juz stupid things...i'm sorry abt the long post esp since it's the firz since a long time...juz have no place i can vent my anger on...until next tme,bye bye...and to my frens who's reading this,take care...
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to(countless) for html code help :) (esp.cyn'and sixseven)
Adobe Photoshop Elements for supernatural abilities
